OSAKA - Editorial

Fresh off the plane from Osaka in Japan. And, if you didn't already know, Osaka is the sister city to Melbourne although if they are sisters they must have one parent who ran into the milkman at some stage cause there's absolutely nothing even vaguely similar between them. Osaka is huge, grey and uninteresting... almost completely devoid of any greenery. But the shopping and food is bewildering and, unlike Melbourne these days, you feel safe walking the streets at any time of the day or night.

As my first trip to Japan, except for the odd stay over at the smoke-filled Narita airport in Tokyo, I was glad to blow away some of the clichés and misconceptions about the most urbanised country in the world. It's not expensive... hey, it's certainly not Thailand but you won't have any awful surprises when it comes to stretching your fun tickets. Generally English is not spoken. And seeing I can only speak 4 Japanese words.... and they include Mitsubishi, Toyota, Mazda and Yamaha... I was happy to wing it with a smile and a lot of hand gestures.

The highlight was a visit to Hiroshima, only 1 1/2 hours by Bullet Train from Osaka. The journey is a technological wonder in itself. Another reminder how completely bereft our public transport is here in the land of Oz. Smooth, efficient, very, very fast... up to 250km per hour. The destination, the 'everyone-must-visit' Peace Museum that reminds us... graphically... the consequences of war and nuclear weapons. I had to sit down for an hour after walking through this place to grasp what I had just witnessed.

Two final comments about Japan.

Firstly, it has a sort of free press but the journalists that toe the line and do the biggest suck job get their foot in the door with both business and politics. It's a closed system of favourites, brown-nosing and brown paper bags. Like the Singaporeans version of freedom of speech and the press, it's a matter of 'everyone is equal but some are more equal than others'.

And finally, if you're heading to Japan take some ear muffs cause it's the noisiest place I have ever been to. Every door you enter, every escalator you step onto, every mode of transportation you undertake... you get bells, whistles, chimes, dings, dongs and a lot of Japanese recorded announcements. Everywhere, it's relentless. The chimes warning us that the train was about to arrive at the next station were the first couple of bars from God Save the Queen. All a bit rude I thought cause they've got their own Emperor without needing to suck up to QEII as well.

Just one other thing... take it from me... don't worry about trying the local Osakan delicacy, Octopus Balls. The Octopus would probably rather have them and they tasted like....well, octopus balls.